

Here it is, Wednesday already and I'm sort of brain dead, but hoping it'll wake up when I start typing. Thought I'd start with a picture to get me inspired. That's me and my oldest son, working in our garden plot. The Big Brothers/Big Sisters program got garden plots in the community garden for all those kids that don't have bigs (my boys have been on the wait list 4 and 2-1/2 years; we figured out that the lady here only shows off the profiles of the cute little girls, by talking to the bigs, grrrr. But at least we got the free garden plot out of it). We couldn't figure out the rototiller, so I dug up a row on either side of our plot area (that's the darkened areas), and we planted some rather weatherbeaten tomatoes and peppers that had been donated to BB/BS for their folks to use. And I got in some lime basil and radish seeds. Last night, we came back out with The Teacher, who is very handy with farm and garden stuff. And he showed me how to use the rototiller, except when I pushed in the clutch, the damn thing took off like a rocket and I was left with the little plastic thingies that are supposed to cover the handles in my hand, and the rototiller stopped itself about 3 feet away. We all had a good laugh, and he offered to go ahead and just till the rest for me. I batted my eyelashes and thanked him, and now we'll be able to plant more when it stops raining again! We should have about 90 to 100 days before it frosts, so I figure I can put in things that are already sprouted, or that have less than an 80 days to harvest expectation and still be all right. It's mostly for the fun of it, anyway. My sons turned out to be my best gardeners. My oldest thought there was a spider on her shoulder and freaked out and retreated to the van (coming out occasionally to take pictures). My youngest squinted in the sun, griped and whined about being hot, and retreated to the van. And my middle daughter did her best to get right in the way of everyone else, all the while stating she wanted to be helpful.
I saw my first fireflies today, dancing in the twilight and the across-the-street-neighbors' trees, so it must be heading into summer. I love the fireflies, there's just something so magical about them. :) Summer works its magic in so many ways. Summer is the time for getting outside and playing with the camera for me, especially early summer. My oldest daughter is my model for the picture above; she got a pretty formal dress for $4.99 on ebay and we're having fun juxtaposing it with odd accessories (like the shoes and socks above) and settings.
The picture above here shows one of the things we did recently. A friend of my oldest daughters' mom took the girls out to this low creek a bit north of where we live, to look for fossils in the shale along the creek bed. We took all the kids out there, and had a great time poking around and wading in the water. We found water bugs and crawdads, and a piece of shale that has a fossil that looks like a bat in it. No idea if it really is. In the picture above, my daughter is holding a stick she called her "fairy." She insists it looks like it has wings and such. I love their imagination. The creek has these great trees and things growing up out of one side of it, and we plan to do a dress up day and go out there to do a "trash the dress" photo session. Usually trash the dress is associated with wedding dresses and such, but I like the idea of juxtaposing the incongrousness of childhood innocence, formal clothing, and unusual settings. I think they will have fun with it! We just have to get past dance recital, to where we have time to get it done! Two more weekends til that's over (tomorrow is the recital pictures day).
This second picture shows our family's newest editions, the cute little goonybirds ("Mom, that's GUINEA FOWL!!!" the kids shriek whenever I say that) named Itchy and Scratchy that we're raising up until they get too big to keep inside and we have to take them to our friend's farm. They seem to be maturing much more quickly than the chickens we've kept in the past, and are much more skittish about people. They make these precious peeping noises all day long, and settle down at night. Their peeping drives the kids nuts, but I think it's cute. Guess we'll see how long it lasts before they drive us all nuts and we take them out to stay with their farmyard cousins.
It's all the Turtle's fault, really. The Turtle keeps me awake. I head to bed, tired as anything, and the little guy starts whimpering for attention and chewing on my hands. I put the pillow over my head and roll over, and he finds my stray hairs and starts chewing on them. I drag all my hair over and tuck it under me, and Turtle worms his way under the blankets, and worms his way down my back, down the back of my legs, turns around my toes and, like a mealworm in a thigmotaxis demonstration, worms his way back up my body until his head is lodged between my boobs, and then he starts to wiggle around and threaten to nip. And quite frankly, that isn't where I want puppy nips (yes, Turtle is the little min pin in the picture), so I drag him out from under the covers and it starts all over again. For 2 or 3 hours, until he finally wears himself out and he gets to sleep, and then so can I. I think God made puppies cute for their survival. I will sure be glad when he gets to where he can sleep through the night, if I can survive that long!
I took the week of spring break off from work to spend with my kids, and here's the yurt we camped out in for 3 days! I wanted to do something to get us out of the house, but didn't want to go very far, or spend very much, so we ended up at a state park about an hour and a half from our house. The hiking trails were much too muddy to hike and it was chilly (low 40s) but we still did some walking along the lake, making a campfire, roasting marshmallows for s'mores, and playing board games. There were times I wish they didn't have so much energy as they have, but I was glad that we got to get that time, just the six of us, with no technology and no set schedule. Yesterday was the first day of spring and we got 8" of snow, so I was glad we went camping when it was still winter, LOL. They think we might get freezing rain tonight and the school has already cancelled, but I go back to work tomorrow. I'm ready for that, I need some rest. ;)So it is March already. It hit 71 yesterday and 61 today. Robins are appearing, with grackle and sparrows, and I hope they are the harbingers that spring is here to stay. I have had enough of winter. Seems like I was sick all through February with sinus problems and just general, horrible, lethargy and malaise. The last couple of days it's been sunny and I've felt almost myself, and I sure hope that is here to stay.
Probably the most significant thing that happened to me in February is that a beloved friend died. I had talked about her before, but not for a while. She has had a lot of troubles in her short life, and about this time last year was when she seemed to give up and start a downward slide. She was 15 when I met her; she was my neighbor when I lived on the other side of town. A petite blonde with a fiery temperament and a bad habit for meth and alcohol already; totally out of her parents' control. We ended up with a deal; she could say on my couch as long as she was clean and sober. She'd stay for a few days to a few months at a time, off and on, over the last 10 years. She is the friend I had blogged about before, with the abusive husband. When he was in jail for beating her into the hospital, she spent a lot of time over here and she finished a semester of junior college, with nearly straight As. Then he got out of jail and she went back to him, and I saw less and less of her. She started drinking again, and I think had started the drugs back up. She was getting very crazy and erratic, and last May, I talked to her dad and he was wracked with guilt about whether or not to step in and do something about her kids. I told him how to file a child in need of care (CINC) case, and reminded him that she is an adult, and responsible for herself- but that her kids have no choice, and if they are in danger, his first responsibiity is to the kids, not her. He did end up having to file, and he got the oldest son, and the younger two went to their dad's sister. She and her husband proceeded to get more and more out of control. Every once and a while she'd call me and ask me to take her to church, or see if I had something she needed, like some clothes or groceries, and I'd help out where I could. But I didn't see much of her, which meant she wasn't doing well.
This was the second time her kids were taken into state custody. The first time, I think they let her skate because the kids were taken due to her being hospitalized (for her husband beating her) and she didn't do hardly anything on the case plan, and she got them back anyway. I think she thought that would happen this time, and it didn't. She and her husband had their parental rights severed in December. She ended up at the state hospital; I think she overdosed. After that, she said she was leaving her husband and moving in with friends the next town over. I heard she had gotten a job and was excited. Two days before she died, I was driving to work and saw her walking toward her husband's apartment, and I thought, "This can't be good." No, it was not good.
Apparently the day she died, her husband paid cash for a car, from her uncle. She had argued with her father about something; I don't know what; that morning. She and her husband were apparently drinking, and had two other people in the back of the car. He was driving (on a suspended license) and going too fast. He lost control of the car, rolled it completely, and it kept going once it was back on its wheels, so he kept going. Apparently he cracked a vertebrae, but didn't notice. The article in the paper said that the two people in the back seat were ejected from the car. It was a small car, and from what I hear, at least one of the passengers was sizeable enough of a woman that she barely fit in the car and could not possibly have been ejected from the car, especially without injury. Perhaps the back seat passengers had their seatbelts on, and asked to be let out of the car; I guess they and the husband will be the only one to ever know the truth.
My friend was one who never wore her seatbelt. The newspaper article is vague; the rumor is she was hanging halfway out the window and he didn't notice. What is known is that no one called 911 about her. He didn't try to get help. He drove aimlessly around the countryside and about 2 hours later, called 911, complaining that his car wasn't running right. It took them quite a while to find him, and then find her. She was alive when she made it to the local hospital, and the family says she was alive for a few hours after she was life flighted to the closest big hospital (the paper says she was dead on arrival). When his blood alcohol level was checked, it was still around 0.20; more than 2 hours after the accident. He is walking around town, and he went to her funeral, and he appears to have no remorse. If it like everything else in their relationship, he will say it is her fault. Yes, she made bad choices. But no one deserves to be critically injured and denied medical care; no one.
My children took it very hard. For about a week, my older son had heartburn and vomiting after eating. He had nightmares and became fearful again. My oldest daughter was furious that, when we went to the visitation, people were talking and laughing, and no one seemed sad that she was gone, except us. I reminded her that my friend came from a big family- she was one of nine children and her dad was one of 13. So there were many people who came as a courtesy, and did not know her all that well. I didn't want to tell my kids that, with the problems she had and her tendency towards fits of temper when not doing well, some people might have been relieved that she was gone. After the visitation, I remarked to my kids that I wondered who picked her outfit. They had an open casket, and had done a fair job of making her up. She looked bloated; perhaps that was the alcohol she'd been drinking in copious quantity since losing her kids, but the only injury apparent was a scrape on her chin. I remarked to my kids that I half-expected her to sit up in the coffin and demand, "Who the FUCK dressed me in this UGLY shirt?!" She was ultra picky about her clothes, preferring low waist jeans in fancy brands, and baby doll t's in aeropostale, lucky, or similar brands. She'd bring me clothes and go, "This is too fancy, here, you take it." I have a coat and a shirt I love that came from her that way, as well as half a dozen pairs of jeans she gave me because she'd gotten too big for them. They make me think of her. I talked to one of her cousins later, who she'd been close to and that I knew would understand, and she laughed out loud when I made the comment about the shirt- she said she'd thought the same thing.
I was very fortunate that I had a client cancel and was able to go to her funeral. Her family is Catholic and she had been trying to get back into her faith off and on. The priest did a wonderful job of honoring her; he started out with some fun stories people had told him about her- that whatever else you might think about her and her choices- she was someone you could always count on to keep things lively. She had this huge belly laugh that you just couldn't help but laugh along with. She did want to help people, and she was often there for her friends in ways you would never expect. He told the story of Jesus and the adultress, and how Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." He reminded people that it would be easy to judge her, but far more important to learn from her and to see the good that she did bring. I think she would have been happy with it. She was 25 years old, and now she is buried in the Catholic Cemetary in the next town over. They say that her husband may be charged with second degree murder. Either way, it is a tragedy. Like so many people, I had always seen the good in her and hoped that she would get it together. But now, we only hope she rests in peace.